- Are you reluctant to charge the fees that you fairly deserve?
- Do you hold back from asking clients for referrals?
- Have you put off your pursuit of being financially independent, because you feel you must put others needs before your own?
- Do you think you aren’t worth all that you desire deep down in your soul?
I recommended the current Oprah & Deepak 21 Day Meditation Experience to the WomenPowering Facebook Community as a good way to get started with a daily meditation practice. I find these Meditation Experiences (they’ve done about 20 different ‘experiences’) very helpful and they usually revolve around a topic that is relevant to me. The current Experience, Manifesting Your Best Life, is particularly relevant to WomenPowering; and on Day 2, I realized how relevant! [SPOILER ALERT!!]
The theme for Day 2 is “The Spirit of Desire” and the Message of the Day ends:
Today in meditation we will contact that source of desire – the source of thought, deep within awareness. Then as desire sprouts from that silence, it will attract all the nourishment and guidance it needs to manifest.
During the introduction by Deepak Chopra, it started to really resonate with me.
“Our goal is to make every desire positive, life supporting and powerful. The highest desire that you can have is to grow and evolve. Nature is constantly expanding.”
So I started thinking about how “nature is constantly expanding” (anyone that has ever had to weed a garden knows this) and so should I! I am always looking at ways to create and improve systems to be more productive and grow personally and professionally; and I often look to nature for ideas. When you ‘fight’ the natural progression (‘expansion’) of a situation, it’s a much harder job than when you find a way to ‘go with the flow’.
Later in the introduction, Chopra continues:
“Once you stop judging your desires, you will realize that you are designed to fulfill your intentions. You begin to ask for what you want. You do what it takes to get what you want.”
“It doesn’t make you a selfish or greedy person. When negativity is attached to desire, intentions can run into trouble. They become misguided or harmful, obsessive or desperate, frustrated and unfulfilled.”
When I heard this, I saw the connection to my “Deadly Questions”, the questions I review on a daily basis to examine the inner thoughts that are barriers to reaching my full potential. I now see that I have been unconsciously judging my desires and holding back in fear of being selfish and greedy! This could be a major breakthrough in my thinking and pave my way to the next level of success!
I am not alone. Very often, a women may have less confidence in pursuing her desires, because her desires often:
- come second to the desires of others in the family, whether it be her husband, a brother, etc.;
- are diverted when she is taking care of her children or other family members;
- become intertwined with the desires of her husband or family, so that her own are diminished;
- are seen as being silly and unrealistic by those around her.
A woman will more often experience these hindrances than a man with similar desires.
Just before starting the actual meditation, Deepak continues:
“Celebrate the fact that you have wishes, hopes, dreams and aspirations. Inside your awareness lies the means to make any possibility come true.”
I am adding this to my daily morning review of my “Deadly Questions” and look forward to the rest of this meditation experience. If Day 2 is this powerful, I cannot wait for the rest!
How to stop judging your desires:
- Have a morning ritual with meditation and affirmations to define and ‘celebrate’ your desires. Click here to sign up for the 21 Day Meditation Experience. (Each day’s meditation is only available for 5 days after it is introduced.)
- At the end of the day, have a look at how you did in pursuit of your desires and be grateful that you were able to do so and congratulate yourself for moving forward, even if just an inch.
- Create a network of friends and acquaintances that will celebrate each other’s desires and achievements, supporting each other when confidence is flagging. Giving others support will be nearly as helpful to your own confidence as getting the support from others. If you don’t have anyone, use the WomenPowering Facebook Group!
- Establish a practice of examining the inner voices that seem to knock your confidence. I have my “Deadly Questions” that I am constantly reviewing and looking at from various angles until I find that they no longer need to be asked.
- If your desires seem diminished as they are ‘intertwined’ with those of another person/persons, take the time to untangle and focus on your own desires. Plan time to work on the other goals separately with those involved.
- Pay attention and learn to recognize and be aware of that feeling you get when you are judging, rather than celebrating — you know that feeling, that hits you in the gut and stops you in your tracks. When you start to feel that, breathe and remember that “inside your awareness lies the means to make any possibility true”. Allow yourself to enjoy the excitement that comes from that thought!
- Avoid those people that judge your desires, and if you can’t avoid, ignore this attitude and do not let it impact on your own. If you are worried that avoiding/ignoring isn’t a nice thing to do, give yourself permission. Very often you see people judging you because you are judging yourself; therefore, stop judging, you will notice less judging of you.
As you practice these techniques, your confidence will get stronger and soon you will be fulfilling your biggest desires.